Pee-wee Herman Gets An iPad!
the video opens with Pee Wee Herman, played by Paul Reubens, entering the set of Pee Wee’s Playhouse. he is carrying an iPad. he sits down in a talking chair, voice by Lori Alan.
Lori Alan: What’s that thing you have, Pee Wee?
Paul Reubens: Ha, ha, oh my abstinence ring. Ha, ha.
Lori Alan: no, in your other hand.
Paul Reubens: Oh, this things. Ha, ha. It’s my new iPad.
A puppet robot, voiced by Josh Meyers, begins moving around.
Josh Meyers: What’s an iPad?
A glittery screen, voiced by Lori Alan, pipes up.
Lori Alan: the iPad is Apples latest revolutionary device. the consensus on the internet is that it’s name closely resembles a popular brand of sanitary napkins.
Josh Meyers (robot): What’s a sanitary napkin?
Paul Reubens: Duh, Conky, it’s a napkin that’s super clean.
A puppet clock on the wall, voiced by Josh Meyers, pipes up.
Josh Meyers (clock): I thought it was a tampon.
A puppet globe, voiced by Lance Roberts, chimes in.
Lance Roberts (globe): Tampa is over here.
Josh Meyers (robot): It looks like a giant iPhone to me.
Paul Reubens: but, Conky, it’s so much more. I can use the iPad to read books. Ha, ha.
Josh Meyer (clock): but Magic Screen can read books out loud for free.
Lori Alan (screen): I am Sam. Sam I am. I will not eat green eggs and ham.
Paul Reubens: Alright. I get it Magic Screen, but this little baby has got Google Maps and music.
Lori Alan (screen): but the iPad doesn’t allow you to run two programs at once.
Lance Roberts (globe): but I can play you music and show you maps at the same time. Aruba, that’s over here (globe turns), Jamaica, that’s over here (globe turns), ooh, I want to take ya. Bermuda, that’s over here (globe turns), Bahama…
Paul Reubens: Globey, you’re ruining this whole experience for me. Right now, there’s only fifty of these babies in the United States and Steve Jobs just gave me this one, personally.
John Meyers (robot): how did you get him to give you one, Pee Wee?
Paul Reubens: That’s none of your business, ha, ha. I don’t have time to discuss it right now, Conky. Everyone in Puppetland is due over here any minute to see me use this.
The shot crossfades to show Paul Reubens holding glasses on the iPad. Paul Reubens offers the puppets a drink.
Paul Reubens: Milk. Milk. Lemonade.
Lori Alan (chair): Nice tray, Pee Wee.
Paul Reubens: Oh thanks, Chairry. Steve Jobs gave it to me. Ha, ha. I’ll be right there everyone.
Paul Reubens walks out of the shot, carrying the drinks on the iPad. the shot crossfades to just the talking globe.
Lance Roberts: We’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow. That’s where we wanna go. Way down to Kokomo. That’s over here. (globe turns)
The shot cuts to black.